


DeVilish Christmas

by MilenaDaniels



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, Poetry, the only poetry I will ever write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2012-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-18 09:36:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/559526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilenaDaniels/pseuds/MilenaDaniels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rewrite of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, Daniel/Vala style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	DeVilish Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> This fic/poem was originally posted to FF.net and Livejournal December 25, 2007. Original notes:
> 
>  
> 
> Glossary for those who need it:
> 
> Oven - the Daniel/Vala thread at the GateWorld Forum  
> Fruitcakes - those who ship Daniel/Vala in the Oven (and elsewhere)  
> DeVilish - the ship name meaning "Daniel/Vala"  
> Av2 - Avalon 2 (episode 9x02)  
> RCC - Robert C Cooper, show producer, Captain of the Daniel/Vala ship
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I have absolutely no problem with McShep, I just needed something to rhyme with "ep". ;) And I've never met RCC and know extremely little about him so don't make any inferences about him from this giddy-induced poem-alteration!

**DeVilish Christmas**

Twas the night before Christmas, with the Oven on "bake",  
Not a creature was stirring, not one little Fruitcake.  
The stockings were hung by the heating vent with care,  
In hopes that the Ark of Truth, soon would be there.

The Fruitcakes were nestled all snug in their beds,  
While visions of Unending danced in their heads.  
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,  
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out in the Gate Room there arose such a clatter!  
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.  
Away to the Control Room I flew like a bird,  
Walter opened the iris when I gave the word.

The chevrons were lit, blue and yellow, you know,  
And gave the luster of mid-day to the objects below.  
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,  
But a saviour in disguise, the room burst into cheer!

A little old director with such wit and such glee!  
I knew in a moment it must be RCC!  
More rapid than eagles the Fruitcakes they came,  
And he wrote and directed and rose to such fame!

"Now Vala! Now Daniel! Make out in this scene!  
Then marriage, then children, oh we'll get so much green!  
From the kiss in PU, to the very last ep,  
We'll show the whole world, DeVilish's greater than McShep.

As dry leaves that before the wild Kawooshy-thing fly,  
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,  
So up to the pinnacles of shipdom we soared,  
With the sleigh full of fics, art and vids to adore!

And then, in a twinkling, word came through  _certain_  means,  
That canon DeVilish might soon be seen!  
As I drew in my head, plot-bunnies ran amuck,  
Down into our hearts RCC was firmly stuck.

He was a genius for sure, no one can contest,  
That when it comes to creating ships, RCC is the best!  
A bundle of hints he had flung everywhere.  
I mean just look at Av2, the signs are all there!

His eyes-how they twinkled! His plans oh so merry!  
His cheeks were like roses…maybe from the sherry...  
His droll little character everyone thought a mess,  
She was brilliance incarnate, Daniel's own seductress.

Granted he'd had some, a few through the years,  
But this one was special, she broke through his fears.  
She was cool, not so calm, and collected? Pfft no,  
But she was bright, she was funny, she put on quite a show.

Daniel glared and he snapped, he wasn't jolly but weary...uh,  
He did laugh on the inside but that was hysteria...  
A wink of her eye and a twist of his head,  
Soon made him realize, he never wanted her dead.

So back RCC brought her, wrapped in a nice peasant gown!  
She was pregnant, not Daniel's, oh the Fruitcakes did frown.  
Daniel spoke not a word, but went straight back to work,  
While we sat and we glared and we called him a jerk.

In the end, RCC, taking pity on us,  
Did offer resolution, the kiss was a plus.  
Then he sprang to his desk and he fixed a small glitch,  
For the future, I get it, but that Reset's a bitch!

 


End file.
